Everybody talks about the importance of self-love, and we all want to love ourselves and believe that we’re already doing it. But how many of us really, truly love and support ourselves unconditionally? How many of us accept ourselves just the way we are, here and now?
Sadly, in most cases, we behave more like our worst enemies than our best friends. We always seem to condition our love for ourselves (“I’ll love myself when I have more…”, “I’ll love myself when I’m more attractive”, “I’ll love myself when I’m better than…”, “I’ll love myself when I accomplish…”, “I’ll love myself when…”), and we refuse to give ourselves the love we deserve until we live up to these impossible standards, change, or improve.
But if you think about it, that belief (and the kind of behavior it results in) doesn’t bring us any kind of well-being. In fact, it’s extremely harmful for our self-esteem and makes us feel even worse in our day to day.
Stop being your worst enemy once and for all! Discover these 5 reasons to start being your best friend instead:
1. Self-love is the foundation of healing
In the words of the highly-praised Louise Hay, self-love is the only thing that can heal everything. And if it doesn’t completely heal them, at least loving yourself will totally change the way you look at things. Feeling better about yourself can lift your spirit and transform your attitude in seconds, no matter what situation you may be facing. If you seem to be having trouble seeing yourself in a more positive light, you can try these "13 Positive Affirmations to Feel Better about Yourself."
2. When you love yourself, you always have someone that you can count on
When you choose to love yourself as unconditionally as you deserve, your life will radically change: not only will you feel better all the time, your luck change, you will feel more connected than ever to the Source, your relationships will improve dramatically (or at least change to become the type of relationship you need to be in at the moment), and you will tap into the endless inner wisdom and the boundless creative power that you have inside of you.
3. When you don’t love yourself, you will be cut off from the best things in life
Nobody wants to be cut off from the best things that life has to offer. And that’s not the worst part: the worst part is that behaving like your worst enemy (when you have the choice of being your friend instead) fills you with a deep feeling of loneliness and a dangerously mistaken perception of being separated from, and not in close contact, with the wonders of life. You can’t accept the unconditional love that the Universe has to offer you if you don’t feel like you deserve it. And if you don’t have love, you will not have any love to give because, in life, we cannot give what we don’t have. You cannot truly love others until you truly love yourself.
4. When you love yourself, you become aware of your best traits
Loving yourself means accepting yourself just the way you are, and appreciating yourself deeply. To fully appreciate yourself, you have to know yourself first, and to know yourself, you must become very aware of all your traits, both good, and not-so-perfect. When you come across traits that you like, celebrate them! Congratulate yourself on them, give yourself a much-deserved pat on the back, and think about those positive traits often (I would go so far as to write them down in my journal to read them and remind myself of them on a rainy day!). If and when you come across not-so-great traits, then treat them as a project, not a mistake: we are all human and we all have things that we can improve about ourselves, but we can always improve what we don’t like.
It’s not that hard: never forget why you are an amazing person. Learn to accept your quirks and imperfections, and try to look at as a work in progress. You don’t have to be perfect: allow yourself to be who you are, because you are already perfect in your imperfection. You are already loved unconditionally by the Universe who created you.
Remember: how you are is how the Universe chose to make you; if the Universe wanted you to be someone else, it would have made you into someone else!
5. Loving yourself helps you stay present
Self-love can only truly exist in the present. When we still haven’t decided to love ourselves here and now, we won’t want to love ourselves tomorrow, or next week, or a month from now either. The excuses we have for not loving ourselves today will still be around tomorrow.
Choose to love yourself, just the way you are, here and now; only then can we start to fully enjoy and make the best of every moment.
Self-love is one of the first steps to feel and live as happy as you want and deserve, day to day. Nevertheless, many people are afraid of loving themselves because they don’t want to be thought of as conceited, selfish, or vain. But don’t worry: loving yourself is very different from being in love with yourself! Being in love with yourself is taking your self-appreciation to an extreme, leading yourself to believe that you are better than others and therefore superior to them. That kind of excessive self-love prevents you from loving them and appreciating them the way that they deserve to be loved and appreciated, proving that the old adage also applies to loving yourself: everything in moderation!
We are in the midst of a great transformation, both on an individual, and on a collective level. We are starting to become more and more aware that the Universe, with all its wonders, powers and possibilities, is inside of us, not outside, that are not separated from the loving source that created us, but intimately connected to it. We are beginning to seek and nourish our spiritual reality, choosing to be more open, seeking to transform our lives.
Let’s make the best of this moment to create a new way of life based on love, fraternity, kindness, peace, and brotherhood. It all starts with you: choose to love and accept yourself, here and now, starting today! When we love ourselves, we don’t harm ourselves, and we don’t harm others. Our life, and our planet, could do with a bit more love. Why not choose to be your best friend instead of your wort enemy, and start loving yourself the way you want and deserve to be loved?
Just remember one thing: the only way out, is in.
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